The Concept of Mother-In-Laws in Our Persian Culture

The Issue of mother-in-laws is one area of life that is reportedly troublesome for many females in our communities. We are talking about many people, so if you are a fair and kind mother-in-law or father-in-law do not get offended.

Many Iranian women and men whom are married today, if they could reverse the time, they would have not married the same person they live with. Why? Is it because we know better after the hindsight? Well, maybe; another reason would be the simple fact that many mother-in-laws or in-laws count on being involved in the couple’s life forever. Hence, we would benefit a discussion about why Iranian parents have hard time to let their adult sons and daughters live their life.

Amongst our Iranian women, we can easily find those who have legitimate complaints about their mother-in laws. I am sure this is the same for countless of males in our culture who are feeling suffocated due to their nosy mother-in-laws?

For a great number of our Iranian females, marriage is about leaving their own parents home and entering another parent’s territory; A problem that remains to explore. What do I mean by another parent’s home? Well, for sure, couples enter a relationship with their own package of parents, siblings, and a whole group of people.

We in our Iranian culture do not marry one person, but an entire group of people. This rule is the same for females and males. Many individuals realize the challenge of getting to know the partner’s extended family after the fact that they have said: “Yes.”

To see beyond the border of nationality, we know that in many Asian cultures where male children are being prioritized, problem of mother-in-laws for females are much more profound.

The complexity of issue with in-laws in our Iranian culture requires years of education and research. However, one of the significant reasons for this issue could be the notion of dependency and lack of healthy boundaries in our interpersonal relationships.

In our Persian culture or in the Middle Eastern culture, there is a widespread opinion that male children are superior while female children are inferior. Adding to this bias, we can recognize that many mothers become dependent on their male children who are supposed to support them for a life time.

On the other hands, the fundamental power that these cultures recognize for their male children becomes a nightmare for females in those communities. I am sure these mother-in-laws also suffered a great deal in their own time of entering someone’s home. A vicious cycle of abuse, dependency, lack of boundaries, unhealthy relationships, unreasonable expectations, and emotional suffering of all involved, is the usual issue in these families.

What is the solution? How can we offer some humanitarian help to many of these unhappy married females who are squeezed by all means from their in-laws? Education, education, and education is the only way.

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